Saturday, 28 November 2009

Football, Play station, lager, X Factor - I am now threadbare and incapable of contribution

Surprisingly, I've never watched the X Factor, so let's nip that one in the bud for a start. I used to drink lager, in fairly copious quantities as it happens, but those days have gone. I'll have the odd crisp cold one in the summer, but otherwise it's a real ale or Guinness. Or something else. I used to play football, and have always been an avid Spurs fan, but football has lost its appeal these days so I rarely watch it on television and I don't think I've been down to White Hart Lane to watch a game for a few years now. Which leaves me with the Playstation. A tool that I have very rarely used - more of a Megadrive/Nintendo/X Box man in my time, although it is ages since I have actually played on one. Just don't have the time these days. Sigh...

So, where I am going with this ostensibly aimless rambling? I just dont seem to be able to take part in these conversations anymore. It may just as well be a foreign language to me. I would seriously struggle to sit in a Wetherspoons pub, drinking Stella and talking about playing football on the Playstation these days. To be fair, rarely am I invited to do as such. But it is a slight concern all the same. Am I turning into a premature huffler? Should I book my place in a home for domino players? Should I tune my radio so that it picks up the Archers? Should I purchase a cardigan? Do I get excited by beige? No, perhaps I'm not that bad. Just yet.

In my defence, I do possess a tattoo, I do listen to loud music and will swear copiously if emotions deem fit. Having said all that, I did hear myself come out with the following line the other day and perhaps this is the most significant indictment of them all:

"If that happens, we'll be in a bit of a pickle."

Pickle. A pickle. So there we have it. At the age of twenty-nine, I have become sensible.

Right, where's the football...

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